Love Never Dies
by MaxStupidity
Summary: Sasuke's heartbeat fades, but never quite stops. Warning: violence. Slash Naruto/Sasuke. T for safety.
1. Pain

_"He will kill you."_

The world falls apart in shades of black and grey. Every corner is a shadow, a shape, a threat. Nothing is as it should be. The past is truly the past. If every broken piece of his heart was a teardrop, then he'd cry you a river.

But Sasuke does't cry. Pain is easier to deal with when you deny it's there. Don't ever give someone the privilege of knowing they've destroyed you. They don't need to know the truth: you might be dying, but you still play the cards. They will only ever know as much as you allow them to.

Sasuke sees pain. Sasuke's so used to seeing pain, that it's more of a habit than an emotion now, and he doesn't stop to check whether any of the bodies have souls trapped within them. What's another life spared?

It could have been his past or his life or experience that made him so cold. The truth was bitter-sweet. He'd never hated so much before Naruto.  
>It was ironic how someone so loving can build a riot of negativity in his best friend's breaking heart.<p>

It's not like Sasuke even cared. Hatred was something he craved. Something he looked for. He just didn't know he would get it from the one person he'd always hoped to keep as a good omen. Betrayal was a dark, heavy burden, and it didn't help that he deserved it.  
>However, Sasuke knew, in the end, Naruto was doing him a favour by pressing that silver dagger deep into his flesh. If Naruto hated him, Sasuke didn't have to hate himself. All he had to do was pretend to fight back till his final breath.<p>

Sasuke used to hate grass when he was young. It was always so wet and thorny, and Sasuke has sensitive feet. Naruto, however, loved grass. Sasuke knew this because he watched, he listened when Naruto rolled around in it, laughing and shrieking and enjoying himself, exclaiming that it was so _green_ and _wet_ and _nice_. Nice.  
>The grass was thorny and pricked irritably at Sasuke's skin when Naruto pinned him down against the ground, stabbing and biting and scratching. It was anything but nice, and Sasuke hated it. Hated it more now than when he was young and his feet had swelled from whatever had got him when his shoes had gotten too small and uncomfortable and he had to walk barefoot for a month. Hated it more than Naruto - no, that's not right, because Sasuke doesn't hate Naruto - hated it more than Itachi, because it was a part of Naruto's attack. And though Sasuke loved Naruto, he hated his attacks.<p>

The sky was dark when Naruto finally let go and walked away. Sasuke's heartbeat was slowing and he wasn't sure whether he would live another night. He could see - the sky was dark but the stars bright, and he swore, he _swore _that they were glassy, that he could see his own reflection in the moon.  
>His whole body was numb - so numb that he wasn't in pain anymore. The worst part was over and now it was just the terrible, teasing mental affliction of not having the least control over his body.<br>Then suddenly, the stars disappeared all at once and the darkness was more than just that of the night. The world had shut him out.

It was never ending. Sasuke shut his eyes tight - though it didn't make a difference - and prayed, _prayed _and _begged_, 'please, please let me die this time'.  
>He knew he wouldn't. His life played out before him three or four times and every time it was the same. He wondered whether he was immortal, or it was normal to get stronger after all the beatings he'd taken. It seemed like each almost-death was followed by a more violent attack, each of which was followed by a more intense almost-dead faze - but he would never <em>die<em>.  
>Sasuke hated these moments the worst. Lying down, anxious, waiting, wishing for death to take him even though he knew it wouldn't. He didn't want to be stuck in a coma, he wanted to <em>die<em>. He never planned to be stuck year in and year out in a restless haze, awake but not quite. He must seem dead, he sure as hell felt like his body was. The numbness was fading and he knew he would wake again soon - he was starting to feel the soreness in his bones, beyond broken no doubt, as broken as his still-breaking heart. It was a sort of pain that lasted forever, at times stronger than others, but always persistent in its aching.

Sasuke didn't feel lost, or alone, or any other crap emotion one of his upset fan-girls would have claimed him to be. He just felt tortured - and that was because he was. Because every time he felt a dampness in his cheeks from tears that weren't his, every time he felt the familiar feeling of warm, chaste lips on his skin, he knew Naruto wasn't planning on killing him.  
>Naruto always knew exactly what to do. He knew how to fight, how to calm, how to act. He knew what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. He knew how to make people love him or hate him or <em>want <em>him by just a certain twist of his lips and a gleam in his eyes. They were the perfect traits for the future Hokage. And when Naruto fought Sasuke, only to come back and hold him, cure him, comfort him, Sasuke knew that Naruto planned every last detail - planned the way his tears were cold and frightening and unreal against Sasuke's face, how his lips were warm and heated and swollen, freshly kissed and almost teasing against Sasuke's bleeding skin.

When Naruto came, Sasuke would never speak - whether he was awake or not, whether he was able to or couldn't. Sasuke would never say a word, never make a sound. But he would listen, memorizing every thing about Naruto, memorizing the way he groaned and scowled and hummed and cursed. When he could see, he'd memorize the way Naruto's eyes lit up when Sasuke tried pointlessly to fight back. When he was out, he'd memorize the way Naruto's voice was soft and each breath uneven, the way his heart beat more firmly and loudly than Sasuke's. He was never surprise by that, he knew that in his state, his heart was bound to be weak and flail, but Naruto's was so _alive.  
><em>The sound of Naruto's strong heartbeat was the most annoying thing Sasuke ever heard. He would listen and try not to, but listen all the same, and fight back tears, and he'd stop praying to ask himself why his heart was the only one breaking.

_"You asked for retribution - you asked for death, and he will kill you. Just like you have killed everyone he knows, you will die by his hands among their bodies."  
><em>It was a lie.


	2. Torture

"_One condition."_

Life without friends is a blank canvas. Each day is a mirror image of the one before, the reflection of all the ones to come. Naruto was sick and tired of being alone.

It was as if all the little things didn't matter anymore. Waking up early to watch the sunrise wasn't as much fun to do by himself. Listening to the birds sing or winning a battle or succeeding in a mission didn't give him a rise anymore. Even ramen didn't taste as good as it used to.

Naruto hated waking up. Every night he'd go to bed wishing his sins would jump back at him, that he wouldn't have to face another day, another minute of this torture.  
>He'd always wake up the next day, unsettled and upset and disappointed. Every once in a while he'd wake up refreshed, almost relaxed, but then he'd realize that alternative reality in his mind was only a dream. Then the feelings would come back, the disappointment, the sorrow. The grief.<p>

He'd carry himself like a dead man walking. That's what happens when a ninja loses his purpose. It's hard to live with nothing to live for. The worst part was that the memories would haunt him day by day, stalking him and chasing him down, bullying him into a shrieking ball of recklessness and misery.  
>Naruto has a lot of power and a lot of strength. But some things seem impossible to fight.<p>

He drags his emotions with him to the field everyday, unarmed and unleashed but _tired_. He'd gotten used to the sight of his friends' corpses lying motionless on the ground, a sign, a testament to his suffering. He'd gotten used to the sight of Sasuke's unwilling body, still fleshed and alive but weak and wounded. He was used to living by someone else's demands, but that never made it any easier.

Naruto's life had fallen into a steady cycle, useless and paining but somewhat unavoidable, unchangeable. He'd walk into the graveyard, spare the ghost of his past life a glance, and then find his anger.  
>It would be hard: trying to avoid the obvious love and pain in Sasuke's eyes, trying to find hatred in his own heart. It would be hard to hate Sasuke, even with the skeletons littering the ground as if a trophy, one of Sasuke's achievements. It would be hard to hate Sasuke, even when he knew he should. Hatred was supposed to be the normal response. Sasuke was supposed to be the enemy -<br>But there was so much love in Naruto's heart because to him, Sasuke was still a comrade, a friend who had strayed, a good man who made a few bad choices. To him, Sasuke was still a lover, a part of him, and someone he'd always want to be with, no matter what bad choices he'd made.  
>It was funny and ironic in a way, that after everything they'd been through and all the anguish Naruto had gone through at Sasuke's hand, he found that forgiveness came quickly, and loving was easier than hating.<p>

When Naruto had found the courage and collected what little anger he had, he would set to fight. It would be easy in the most terrifying way, to wear Sasuke down, to pin him to the ground and attack him. It was harder to watch Sasuke's defenceless body writhe beneath him, to watch the emotionless Sasuke Uchiha wince in pain - and Naruto knew that Sasuke fought it, knew that Sasuke tried harder than anything to pretend to be strong, to act like none of this was affecting him.  
>Naruto would put up his best fight, trying despite himself to hurt the only remaining person he cared about. And every time he did, even though the effort was minimal, he found that it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to put through with.<p>

Eventually, when Sasuke stopped trying to fight back, stopped trying to stop the pain from taking over his features, the sorrow in Naruto's heart would be too hard to face and he'd find that he cannot go on - and then, and only then, would he understand hate.

Naruto hated himself. Naruto hated himself every time he went to bed at night, his conscience uneasy and his tears never ceasing. Naruto hated himself every time he walked away from Sasuke, his mind screaming at him to end it once and for all, to give Sasuke what he wanted so at least Sasuke's suffering would end - so Sasuke wouldn't have to go through this day by day with him. Naruto hated himself for having no choice, for hurting Sasuke, for letting him leave all those years ago. He hated himself for every punch, every hit, every wound and scratch on Sasuke's body.

The next few months after one of Sasuke's beatings would all pass the same. The Hokage who took over after Tsunade's death would be proud and honour Naruto in her own way - having taken him as her own prisoner, and he would have no choice but to comply, to pretend, to fake a smile and hate himself all the more.  
>When he was free, he would race to the fields and pick up Sasuke's body, and then he would do the honouring. He would stay as long as he could and his tears would fall and flow the entire time.<p>

The next time Sasuke awoke, the cycle would begin again. Naruto would go through life because he had no other choice: he would either kill Sasuke himself or watch as the Hokage sentenced his former lover to one of her torment facilities.  
>He tried to tell himself he was doing the right thing, Sasuke <em>wanted<em> to die, he'd push himself on to the point where he's in a field surrounded by corpse after corpse after corpse and fighting the only part of him that was still alive: Sasuke.  
>But then Sasuke would give out and Naruto would not be strong enough to kill someone he cared about, <em>loved<em>, to the point of insanity.

He would leave before Sasuke had the chance to see him break, and when he'd come back, he'd hold Sasuke's thin body tightly and lend Sasuke his strength, thinking 'I can't lose you.'

"_I will kill him under one condition. He is to be buried here in Konoha, people will honour him and when I die, I will be buried by his side."_


	3. Love

"_Uzumaki Naruto."_

Teeth barred, fists clenched, Naruto lunched forwards with all his strength, screeching and writhing under Sasuke's gaze.  
>"This is your own fault," he chocked. "Your fault I.."<br>He trailed off, letting his fist speak for him. The blow made contact with Sasuke's chest, causing Sasuke to fall back hard on the ground. The only part of Sasuke left cold was his glare - eyes dark on Naruto's blue, challenging even while his clothes were filthy with his blood.  
>Naruto's inner power was growing again, his teeth turning into fangs, sharp and murderous. His eyes had turned red, his pupils slits, the third tail had almost fully formed. Sasuke didn't look away, even as Naruto pushed forward and plunged at him, biting, kicking, scratching. He could almost hear Naruto say 'I hate you', but they weren't words - they were hands pressing against his, pushing him down into the ground, hard, unforgiving. Naruto hit again, and Sasuke winced, then threw his head back and laughed - a bitter and sarcastic sound, and though it was unlike Sasuke to let Naruto abuse him, his voice was as poisonous as it had ever been, and so much like the Sasuke Naruto had grown to love and know.<p>

Naruto swayed. His heart clenched with pain, an ache deep in his chest, and he was more tired of that than of the scars Kyuubi had left on his skin. This time, Sasuke was still enduring, but Naruto's patience had run cold and his hatred was no longer strong enough to keep fighting. It was a long time ago that he'd learned to control his demon, a long time ago he had set his own regulations for when he would let it out and when he would keep it caged inside, and though Kyuubi had always tried to beak free, it never could. It was of Naruto's own free will when the fourth tail grew, thick, long, and almost graceful. He took a step closer to Sasuke's form, getting back on all fours over his old comrade. He lowered himself over Sasuke with a little form of unease, and pressed against the other man.

It burned. Naruto knew that, knew that Sasuke's skin was breaking, knew that even though Sasuke tried not to cry, that it was the most pain he'd ever inflicted on his friend. He knew because it was a pain he'd had to live with for as long as he could remember - he knew the scars were almost impossible to heal, that they would bleed and bleed and that the cuts would deepen into Sasuke's bones and break him.

Sasuke grunted beneath Naruto, so faint that Naruto wouldn't have heard him were they not pressed hair to hair to one another. It was only human instinct that Sasuke resisted, pushing back against the ground in search of some comfort, some air, some space, flinching away from Naruto as if he was the plague. He glued his face to the floor, finding comfort in what little cool it gave off against his cheeks. It was as if his whole body was on fire - as if it was no longer outside of him or around, but in him too, as if he was one with the pain.

It was a line Naruto had never crossed before - he'd never wanted to. Sasuke had admitted to the pain for the first time, had pushed back even though he was dying - had tried to stay alive. Naruto wound his arms around Sasuke, tangled their limbs together until there was no more room to get closer, and Sasuke hissed in tortured agony, then used the last of his strength to lift his head and catch Naruto's eyes.

There were pleas written in Naruto's baby blues, but Sasuke couldn't understand them. He found himself wondering out loud, "are you asking me to die?" and Naruto seemed to murmur something in response, then lower his head and bury his face into Sasuke's chest, pressing his forehead against the patch of skin where Sasuke's heartbeat was most prominent. There was no sign of whether Naruto's actions were of love - to want to be nearer to Sasuke, to maybe assure himself that Sasuke is alright - or of hatred - to kill him most efficiently by attacking his heart.

Then again, Sasuke had known Naruto for a long time.  
>Sasuke had known Naruto long enough to tell a fake smile from a real - no matter how good Naruto had gotten at pretending. Sasuke knew to distinguish pain from endurance, happiness from satisfaction, love from hatred.<br>Sasuke knew that Naruto could scratch, could bite, could tear at skin and bone alike, that Naruto could kill. But Sasuke also knew that Naruto could comfort, could stroke, could kiss Sasuke gently, tenderly, and bring him back to life.

Four tails had quickly turned to two, and soon those had gone too, and Naruto no longer reeked of blood red. Instead, there was a peculiar safety in his fierce orange, in the arms that still held Sasuke closer than they had ever clung. Naruto's hands found Sasuke's body, pushing past what little clothing Sasuke had left and searching Sasuke's skin, flying across Sasuke's canvas of pale, tender, ruined flesh. Then Naruto's hands found Sasuke's and held on, clutching so hard that it almost hurt - but it didn't, because Naruto was not one to hurt. Naruto was one to melt right into Sasuke, to count his heartbeats until they became his own, to fill him with tenderness and love and everything Sasuke never had, everything Sasuke had been deprived of all his life. Naruto was the only one who could love Sasuke, who had enough space in his heart for a murderer - amongst other things - was the only one who could find it in him to give Sasuke everything he ever needed.

Soon, Sasuke's line of vision had blurred, and all he could see was a strand of yellow haze - the sun, maybe, although he was sure it was still night. Far away, he could almost make out the corpse of someone who might've been his childhood friend, someone who was certainly close to the dobe lying on top of him, holding him close. It was ironic, that Sasuke had taken away everything Naruto had ever loved, and yet Naruto was still willing to go on loving him. It made Sasuke think of all the mistakes he had made, of Itachi, of his parent's death. At the thought, Sasuke's arms automatically wound around Naruto - who he realized was the source of brilliant yellow light - and fastened, as if he was afraid that Naruto might realize Sasuke wasn't worth him and leave, afraid of losing Naruto.

Sasuke's little movement made Naruto yearn. He kissed at Sasuke's skin more feverishly, licked at his scars, pecked at his bruises, his heart racing with a need almost otherworldly - and yet, Sasuke could barely feel his touch. It was as if there were worlds separating them, ages of pain and mistrust that were yet to be cleared away. Sasuke's skin still burned and the pain felt new though hours had passed, and he could tell that Naruto was nearing exhaustion. There were bags under Naruto's eyes and tears staining his cheeks, though Sasuke couldn't remember him crying - he must have been quiet about it. Naruto had done that thing again, where his chakra had slipped beneath his hold and sunk into Sasuke's, keeping Sasuke farther from unconsciousness and bringing Naruto closer to it - but this time, it was different. There was more weariness to Naruto's touch, and though Sasuke's heart hadn't once faltered, it seemed as if his mind had given up.

Sasuke felt the time pass - felt the minutes and hours go until he was certain it was long past midnight, until the world around seemed almost pitch black for a second - but then Naruto had touched him and it was all shades of yellow, orange, blue, and love.  
>As the time passed, however, Sasuke felt Naruto get more and more tired - and as Naruto's strength weakened, so did his.<br>Then all the bits and pieces fell together.  
>Naruto was holding too tight, pressing too hard, his fingers gilding into Sasuke's skin, unsure and hyperventilating, and Sasuke wondered how he didn't notice how firmly Naruto shook before - but he did then. He knew then that he was living off of nothing but Naruto's strength, draining Naruto of his own life, feeding on his power.<p>

Sasuke's nails dug into Naruto's skin and he pulled away, almost letting lose of Naruto's hands, but Naruto was too stubborn, too adamant, too quick. "Let me go," Sasuke said, and he meant it. He was ready - had been ready for years. He tried again, pushing more fiercely, even going as far as kicking Naruto off, but he knew that it was pointless. Naruto would only let him pass on his own free will.

"You're killing yourself," Sasuke said. His voice was calm, cool, as stoic as it had been all those years back when he had held up a front, when he used to lie to his own soul mate - but beneath it, Naruto could hear the panic, could hear the despair in Sasuke's voice and understand the need. Yet, with some form of ease, fended on with that very understanding, Naruto caught Sasuke's lips between his own, whispering into them, _this is right_.

As the kiss deepened, Naruto's legs locked around Sasuke more surely, securing them together as if he would never let go. "You love me too much," Sasuke had breathed, and then there was no more front in his voice but uttermost despair, begging at Naruto to let him part. "Do you really want to die this way?" He'd asked, panting, "Uzumaki Naruto, greatest of all Hokages, sacrifices his life for a traitor?"

Naruto silenced him with a kiss, and then Sasuke had known that this was final.  
>"Sasuke," he'd breathed, after a few more hours had passed, and the seconds seemed to draw themselves out and interlay, and Sasuke had lost most of his senses, the only thing he was aware of being Naruto - Naruto's skin against his, flesh deep, Naruto's scent within him, Naruto's voice, sweet and raspy and godlike. "We don't have much longer."<br>"I know. I can feel it."  
>"I love you."<br>The world flashed a distant blue and then shone orange, bright and beautiful but far far away, and Sasuke felt something wet against a part of him, like a press of lips against lips, but he wasn't certain.  
>"I love you too," he whispered, "Naruto."<p>

**‾**

"_Uzumaki Naruto, greatest of all Hokages, died alongside Uchiha Sasuke, a traitor." _


End file.
